Home > Uncategorized > The CLAMPBURGER (Burgivoris Horribilis)

The CLAMPBURGER (Burgivoris Horribilis)

It is not known for certain if the clampburger is a real animal or just an urban legend. Its presence has been reported mostly in urban areas by intoxicated youngsters who swore they had been chased by this peculiar creature. It seems that its natural hunting grounds are shopping mall parking areas and fast-food restaurants where it can camouflage itself among brand’s mascots and overweight shoppers. It his said that the clampburger was originally a teenager working part-time as mascot for Burger King Kong wearing a gorilla custom when he was run over by a truck driven by a blind midget carrying expired yogurt. The accident caused the toxic waste to spill over the costumed boy causing them to merge with each other and mutate into this grotesque abomination.
The clampburger has the appearance of a three-meter tall burger, the standard size of a jumbo size ration in most American restaurants. The disguise is so perfect that its inner mouth looks like condiments: lettuce, tomato and a cheese slice that is actually its tongue. In spite of his odd appearance the clamburger can run very fast and it always wears running shoes because its favorite prey are young humans with brand sneakers. It lures the fatest ones pretending to be a giant hambuguer and then devours them. It digest the body and bones but excretes the shoes so it always has a huge collection of sneakers that it uses to make a nest for its eggs. The clampgburger practices asexual reproduction, which considering its appearance is probably the only chance to reproduce it will ever get.
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