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Sense & Nonsesibility (II) The Curse Of The Hungarian Plot

Episode II: The Curse Of The Hungarian Plot

Charlotte laid naked under the thick blankets that were so heavy that she could hardly stand up. She looked to the frozen earth floor that was damp and not entirely clean and decided to wait and see what happened because there was no slippers in sight. A tall foreign looking man entered the room through the door and looked at her. He hair was jet black and long and had two really long and vigorous sideburns that ran all the way to his shoulders. His jaw was squared as a drawer and the lips were sensual like overstuffed cushions giving his face the appearance of furniture. When she looked into his dark eyes she felt them piercing her body as if they were red hot spears, then she noticed the naked muscular torso and she felt the same sensation again but like hundred times stronger. She realized in wonderment that the handsome stranger was the naked rider she had dreamt about earlier that night, although unfortunately he was wearing his pants this time.

‘ Are you feeling better?’ asked the stranger with a deep voice and with an accent that she was not able to identify because she has never left the province, although she was fairly sure it wasn’t Scottish accent.

‘ Yes, I am feeling much better now.’ she replied and added ‘ Who are you powerfully built stranger? Where I am?’

‘ You speak funny young lady. My name is Vladimir Andreassi but everybody calls me Dick and you are in my home. I found you half submerged in a puddle during the storm and I brought you here because you don’t look like a frog and only frogs live in puddles. You are not a frog, aren’t you?’ asked him while busying himself with the coffee pot that was heating over the fireplace.

‘ No, I am not a frog sir, but I can jump pretty high if you want me to’ answered Charlotte flattered by the uncanny ability of the stranger to differentiate between her and a batrachian. ‘ Where are my clothes? Not that I really need them in here. I like to walk around naked all the time. Have you taken advantage of me while I was unconscious? Did I miss something important?’ she asked nervously

‘ I am afraid your  clothes were wet with mud and I had to undress you or you would have caught a pneumonia. I just left them hanging outside to dry now that the storm is over.’ the stranger whose name was Vlad said while passing her a cup of hot coffee. She drank from the tin hot cup and she bit her lower lip to suppress a scream of pain when she incinerated her tongue, not to upset her arousing saviour. The coffee tasted like boiling dirty water, which was a very good sign because it meant he was single. Then he spoke again ‘ I must apologize for the disorder but you can’t expect too much of a bandit’s lailairr and the housekeeper won’t come until Friday ‘

‘Are you a bandit? Oh, my God! You are a criminal! I am naked and helpless in a bed in the company of a bloodthirsty outlaw who has nothing to lose. Are you going to rape me when we finish coffee? I feel so weak that I don’t think I can offer hardly any resistance…’ said Charlotte half joking and coquettishly swallowed the rest of her coffee .

‘Oh, no! I am highway robber, to be a rapist you need totally different training. My stage name is Dick Turnip, maybe you have heard of me, there is  a three guineas reward for my head and six shillings for any other piece of my body. What is your name by the way? You still haven’t told me yet’

‘ My name is Charlotte Wildbush and I am the lovely virgin daughter of a wealthy local landowner. Can you kidnap heiresses with your highwayman skills? I think my father will pay a substantial ransom to have me back… specially if you rape me first ‘ said her trying to steer the conversation to the topic she was more interested in at the moment. Charlotte was a young lady of the Victorian era and spite of her interest in the subject she was utterly ignorant of flesh matters. She was still a virgin and never had seen a man naked down the waist but in her dreams. She had overhead conversations of peasant wives and had a fairly good idea of how the male member looked like but had overoptimistic expectations regarding scale.

‘ What is that obsession with raping? I told you I rob rich traveling merchants and coaches, raping is a totally different area of expertise. I would get in trouble with the rapist guild if I step on their turf. ‘ protested him blushing a bit and she realized how young the bandit was when she stopped looking at his pants for an instant and saw his face. Then he told her how he stole from the rich to give to the poor, a notion Charlotte found entirely uneconomical but that spoke of the young bandit’s altruistic nature and lack of wit. Vlad told her about how he had started robbing the poor to give to the rich but the scheme had failed miserably because the poor had nothing to rob and the rich wouldn’t take used stolen goods that smelled rancid. Then he told her the story of how he had arrived to England, in spite of her protests and suggestions that time could be spent in a more practical manner.

‘ I was born in Hungary into a noble family of small landowners in the poorest part of the country. My homeland is so poor that nobility only can afford enough land to feed a handful of serfs that gaze in their pastures for a nominal fee. Our family plot was so small that I had to sleep with my feet on the neighbor’s property and that was motive for constant quarrels with the family living there who complained of bad smell.  It was also said that our property was cursed since my grandmother was said to have eaten the heart of a serf to make a pact with Satan. Apparently she was a quite a character my granny. I had an older brother and my father did not want to split the property any further because we only had one serf and he didn’t wanted to be sliced in two halves. I had wanted to be a poet until I found out that I had to learn how to read first so my father sent me to the military academy where they give you free food if you learn how to kill people.’

‘ I went to Budapest and joined a cavalry regiment as deputy horse. After a few years I made my way up the ranks to sergeant horse and later I was promoted to infantryman and allowed to eat people’s food instead of hay. Then Napoleon invaded Europe and we were sent to fight his armies but his armies fought back and we had to run for our lives. Nevertheless I was awarded a medal as the fastest runner of my regiment and promoted to battalion commander until the rest of the army could catch up with me. My rank and a fanciest uniform opened me the doors of the most elegant salons of  Budapest’s high society where I met a countess who fancied military men with large swords. I fell in love with her forgetting the fact she was already married to a count. The jealous husband discovered us one night on their bed making love passionately when blinded by desire I bit the count’s nipple thinking it was his wife’s. He challenged me to a duel in the cemetery next day at dawn and slapped me in the face with his slipper. Next morning he showed up two hours late and with just one pistol. He said it was his pistol and that he would let me shot after he was done. I was lucky because he was a lousy shooter and the pistol exploded in his face on the third round. The explosion blow his nose off and it was taken away by a squirrel that mistook it for a chestnut.’

‘ I had to flee Budapest chased by his henchmen and go back to my family’s property. I had been away for seven years and when I arrived in town I learned about the misfotunes my family had endured during my absence. My older brother had fallen in love with our mother and married her. When he found out she was already married with our father he ambushed and staved him to death only to discover he had killed our neighbor that looked very much like my father in the dark because he was my father’s twin brother. Then my brother had to murder his two little cousins to avoid further trouble. He sneaked into their house, took them from their cradles and drowned them in the swamp. He still found time to club my father to death that same night on his way back from the swamp and be at home on time for supper. You could say many things about my brother but he certainly knew how to carry out a murderous rampage. ‘

‘ The night of my arrival I went to our house at night and find him sleeping in my father’s bed with my mother. I strangled him with my bare hands but he wouldn’t die and kept making horrible gargling sounds. Then I realized that in my blinding rage I was strangling his ankle and he was snoring. I buried my sword in his heart and ran away. I crossed Europe hidden under the belly of a horse and then I stowed away under a merchant sailboat bound to England. I almost drowned but I made it through the Channel. This happened five years ago and I’ve running away and hiding ever since, chased by the remorse and shame of my heinous crime. I wake up at night in cold sweat and… Charlotte? Are you sleeping Charlotte?’

‘ Mmmm? What? No, I was just resting my eyes. What happens? Are you going to rape me?’ said Charlotte trying to hide in vain a big yawn behind her tiny hand. She composed herself and added ‘ The way I see it your brother deserved what he got after killing all those people. You should not be tormented by guilt, you did merciful God’s justice and your wicked brother must be now burning in Hell tormented for eternity. Why do you torture yourself with remorse when you could be giving free rein to your most lascivious desires?’ she asked while discretely lowering the bedcovers to reveal her naked round breasts.

‘You don’t understand sweet Charlotte… in the dark I pierced my own mother’s heart and horrified by my inaccuracy I ran into the night leaving my monogramed sword sticking out her chest. The same chest I had breast-feeded as a child! And now my maddened incestuous brother is looking for me to kill me because… because…’ Vlad interrupted his confession overwhelmed by tears of grief.

‘Because what? What next? What could be possibly make things worse?’ asked Charlotte with delirious expectation while hitting his head with her delicate fists. He spoke again.

‘ Because…’

To be continued….

What darker secret is buried in the depths of the tortured soul of the luckless Hungarian highwayman? Will his sorrow prove an obstacle insurmountable enough to prevent him from raping young willing Charlotte? Will his murderous brother or the wicked Hungarian count agents find him? Will Charlotte ever find the true love she craves for? Will she manage to get rid of her virginity? What about her imminent weeding of which she have completely forgotten about? Find out about that if you dare in the next tragic episode of Sense & Insensibility

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